Do you worry about the kids of today and their mental health?
I do—all the time. As a father of four young people and their wider circles of friends – I can’t help but worry about how the kids of today are doing post-Covid and with the constant, unrelenting pressure from social media.
I have an open relationship with my kids, so we often discuss the issues that affect their lives. Let me rephrase that last sentence. I ask them to tell me about the issues that affect them. Then I sit back and listen. I try to “hear” what they say between the jokes, slang, and bravado.
Sometimes as parents and adults, we just need to make space for the young people around us to be heard. I can almost hear my kids groaning and saying, “you’re sounding preachy, Dad,” but my concern comes from a genuine and honest place. We must find ways to help everyone in our communities, and young people are dealing with considerable pressure.
What comforts me is that discussions around mental health are finally in the mainstream. Thanks to brave people like Simone Biles, who I met last year in Palms Springs at the EY The Strategic Growth Forum® US. She’s a courageous young woman with the incredible strength to walk away from the Olympics to preserve her mental health. What a role model for young people!
Simone is a servant leader of note – she uses her fame as a platform to shine the light on mental health, and I see many other celebrities and sports stars doing the same thing. We all need to contribute to creating greater awareness around the issue. It’s essential to ensure that the mental health conversation continues and that we all ensure that there is no longer a negative stigma attached to the issue. Having worked in healthcare for over 26 years, I know how mental health becomes a casualty because people are too afraid or ashamed to speak up and ask for help.
From conversations with my kids, our community, and some of the young adults working at Palmetto, I have put together a list of things that we, as adults and parents, can do to address the issue in any way we can. Here are some suggestions:
Create a safe space: Spare the judgment, the preaching, and the sermons. Sometimes young people just need a place where they are safe to express whatever is on their minds. This safe space is not always about “talking” through things – it’s sometimes about being able to create a space just to be.
Maybe they don’t want to talk to you? It can be hard to talk to your parents. How much stuff that was going on in your life did you share with your folks? Do youngsters have someone to talk to – a trusted aunt or uncle, an older cousin, a teacher, a therapist, a pastor, or a coach? They don’t have to be talking to you, but they should be talking to someone. Be aware of other trusted friends or relatives within the inner circle who could assist.
Is there a positive way of channeling their feelings? Finding positive ways of channeling negative emotions can be helpful. Running has always been a positive space for me – I have been running/jogging since I was a youngster, and it always helped me when things were getting a bit too hectic in my headspace. For some kids, sport is an outlet, so encourage them to participate. Music or art-based activities could be useful if sports activity is not their thing. What gave them joy as a child? What are their interests and hobbies, and how can you leverage them to bring joy or a sense of self?
Live by example: I had some tough times a few years ago with my mental health. My kids forgave me for so much (did I tell you they are great kids!). My gift to them is investing in my mental health every day. I talk about things when I am having difficulties. I am open about my struggles, and in this way, I teach them about my coping mechanisms. I watch my diet and exercise regularly. I practice mindfulness because it’s essential to my daily mental health regime. They would not take me seriously if all I did was talk and not take action.
I know, much harder said than done. But trust me on this one – book a hike, a boat trip, or a beach picnic. Just a few hours under big skies, near trees or the ocean, will do them so much good.
Don’t be cautious in seeking professional help: If you are seeing signs of depression or deteriorating mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional help or counseling. Do it earlier rather than later and do your homework – try to get a counselor or psychologist that would be a good match for the young person in your life.
Also, quit the pressure, the unrealistic expectations, any expectations for that matter. Our kids need love and support more than anything. And when they mess up, which they will – that’s what youngsters do – make sure they know that no matter what, you will always be the soft landing.
Please send me your suggestions, ideas, and ways we can assist our young people. I’ll continue to write about these issues on my blog. Until next time.
Disclaimer: The content of this post is aimed at encouraging greater awareness of mental health and mental wellness amongst our youth. These are my personal views and suggestions and are not a substitute for professional help and opinion.
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