I have been reading a very helpful book: Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success At Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time, by author Susan Scott. It’s been revised and updated a few times and is the kind of book you can read repeatedly – you’ll always get some new insights.
In a nutshell, Susan Scott says: “Our work, our relationships, and our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time.”
She believes that something within us responds very deeply to honest communication. In the book, she unpacks numerous corporate scenarios – the ability to “hide out at meetings” is very interesting. How many boardroom execs are doing just that? And how often are people intimidated by the leaders managing a meeting so they don’t say anything and valuable insights are lost?
Her explanation of the experience of “being understood” versus “being interpreted” is food for thought. How regularly do we interpret what other people have to say by deciphering the conversation through our lens of what we think they mean?
She asks about setting goals when conversing with people and also points out that being polite can sometimes mean we play a role when we don’t say what we mean or mean what we say.
There’s a discipline to having those Fierce Conversations, and the author gives a lot of insights and tools to make the necessary changes to how we converse with others.
A Ton of Trust
While it’s easy to read this book and have all sorts of ideas, it is much harder for my partner David (Goodall) and our Senior Leadership Team to implement these ideas. It takes a ton of trust! David and his team regularly have “fierce conversations, ” which is a strong sign of a healthy organization.
The idea of truth in business is key to moving forward: “Multiple, competing realities exist simultaneously,” she points out, noting that reality is complex. As leaders, we must seek “the best truth” – one that is inclusive of everyone.
She writes, “We are more likely to discover the truth we must understand today by demonstrating that everyone has a place at the corporate table. That all voices are welcome. No matter our area of expertise, each of us has insights and ideas about other aspects of the organization. While we may know a better way for the company to do something, none of us knows more than the sum of everyone’s ideas.”
The book is relevant in all aspects of life, and I have worked on it with my family – by creating the space to have those “fierce conversations” from a place of openness and understanding.
Written like a manual for servant leadership, Susan Scott’s book is a best-seller for many good reasons: it’s easy to read, practical to use, and packed with wisdom from start to finish.
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