I spent many years comparing myself to others and wanting what they had – without putting in the work. I wanted the awards and recognition, hell, I wanted the six-pack – but I didn’t necessarily want to do the workouts. I wanted it all and I wanted it immediately!
I would constantly compare myself to others – I was working hard in my field but I wanted to be great in ALL fields. I had no cap on my desires! There wasn’t enough of me to accomplish it all and I never “invited” anyone to help me – I was going it alone. When I didn’t get the results I felt I deserved or WHEN I was super deflated. Or I would find someone to blame, certainly, it couldn’t be my fault!! (Please detect sarcasm). If I succeeded, my ego would become the size of Texas, and that made me want even more.
It was when it all came crashing down (how could it not?), that I learned I needed to “put in the work” and surrender the outcome.
Big E, a wise friend once said: “Boy, you can make all the plans you want, but God is in the results business. Leave the results to God. Just get up in the morning and do your part.”
I love the wisdom and the freedom in that. By taking the “I” out of the equation, and working with God I am a lot less tired because the end results are not up to me. In this way, I don’t get too high or too low. I don’t blame others, and I’m enjoying the ride. I also can appreciate others’ success or be empathetic regarding their setbacks.
I can’t make myself feel better on the inside by getting what someone else has on the outside. True joy comes from feeling good on the inside. My skin fits when I do a good deed and expect nothing, or give it my all – no matter what the results are. I have also learned the importance of working as part of a team, rather than trying to be the hero.
Big E also told me that God has three answers. “Yes, No, and Not Now”. By inviting Him into my plans I am not alone. I’m working with God. If we accomplish things in “my time frame”, I can consider myself lucky because he said “Yes”. If I didn’t complete it on time, then I can still feel very proud about the effort. It may mean “No” or maybe it’s just “Not Now”.
So, I try to fill my little bucket with little wins and do my part wherever I can. Along the way, I sometimes get lucky enough to help people. And the same goes for when other people are kind enough to help me when I ask for it. I need to show up and put in the work every day. If I keep a positive attitude and stop comparing myself to others – I will become the person I want to be, and the person God wants me to be – after all, he’s in the results business.
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