When I was much younger, I quit doing the things I loved out of fear of failure. Whether writing, singing, photography, or even gardening, I would simply not participate out of fear. Looking back, I realize that this attitude was foolish – on some level, I was delaying my happiness.
As I have grown older (hopefully wiser), I am starting to do all these things again. The result is immense joy and a sense of achievement.
I may not be great at any of the above hobbies and interests, but I get immense pleasure out of trying. I resonate with the Brené Brown quote: “We’re all afraid. We just have to get to the point where we understand it doesn’t mean that we can’t also be brave.” Admitting that we are afraid but being brave enough to do something anyway is what courage looks like to me.
Tell Someone
In an article called: “To Build New Habits, Get Comfortable Failing,” Sabine Nawaz gives some sound advice. She suggests it’s a good idea to commit before chickening out of that big dream and then tell that commitment to someone, so there is accountability.
She writes, “There’s a window of opportunity between when we dream of our goal and before our self-protective reasons scream at us to retreat.” When it comes to personal goals, of course, I share these with my wife. Regarding business goals, the CEO of Palmetto Infusion, David Goodall is a great one to share it with – his response will always be one of support.
Fear Dressed up as Procrastination
I have found that making a positive step towards your goal is important. The very act of doing seems to shift things along and give one a sense of direction but doing nothing keeps you stuck in fear. There are so many instances in business and my personal life where I procrastinated and lost the moment.
In a Forbes article titled “You’re not lazy, you’re scared: How to stop procrastinating,” Amy Blaschka quotes several experts who point out that procrastination is not about time management but rather about fear of moving forward. Of taking that step into the unknown. I can relate, and I was not alone.
Imposter Syndrome
For an HBR feature titled “What CEOs are Afraid of,” Roger Jones surveyed 116 CEOs. The fear that rose to the top was “imposter syndrome” – the fear of being undermined and something I think every CEO at some stage of his or her career has gone through. I can certainly relate, and those feelings of self-doubt are very real and something that one must overcome to “steer the ship” and be a worthwhile leader. For me, the significant shift came when I changed my focus; instead of making everything about “me,” I shifted the paradigm to servant leadership – and that’s where I have been able to lead authentically – when I decided to leave my ego at the back door.
I found that facing my fears in every aspect of my life had a knock-on effect, and I am so pleased that I took those important first steps. And while my gardening, photography, and flying skills might not win awards (at this stage), I am there, I am present, and I am having the time of my life. And that’s what counts.
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