Book Review: The Good Life
Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger, MD, and Marc Shulz, PhD
I have the same friends that I had in high school. My wife and I have been together for almost 30 years. I spend a lot of time with the amazing people at Palmetto Infusion, working on relationships and fostering a great work environment. When I need a pick-me-up, I hang out with my kids because no matter what – we’ll laugh, and I’ll be reminded not to take myself so seriously because my kids don’t!
Why am I telling you this? The book I recently read, The Good Life, is about one of the longest studies on happiness done by Harvard and says that relationships are the key to happiness and well-being.
The book is based on the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which started in 1938 and followed 268 Harvard sophomores for nearly 80 years. Incredible! The authors write about how important relationships are – they looked at everything from friendships and romantic relationships to family and other social connections. The book discusses how these connections can make a big difference in how healthy and happy we are.
At first, when I read the book, I couldn’t help but compare it to our own, The Success Paradox. But honestly, if I had to pick between the two, I’d say go for this book first. That might sound paradoxical, but I believe that by starting with this book, you may then want to read mine to learn how to improve your relationships, as well as the role that spirituality plays.
I write about relationships in The Success Paradox – I had gotten to a stage where nobody in my family was talking to me. The fact that Kelly and the kids took me back was one of the reasons for my recovery – and something I am grateful for each day.
I also write about the power of forgiveness and the importance of self-love in my book, and I’ve spoken about this a lot on various podcasts. The hardest part for me was forgiving myself for all the mistakes I had made. If I hadn’t done that – and done that sincerely – I wouldn’t be where I am today.
The authors’ unpacking of the study makes it easy to understand, and the fact that relationships are the key to our happiness is profound. Still, I think that it also has to apply to every individual – the first relationship we have is with ourselves. We have to love ourselves before we can give anything to others.
I also love that the book points to one of my favorite old sayings: “We are always comparing our insides to other people’s outsides.” I had to unlearn the habit of constantly comparing myself to others (limiting my social media intake helped a lot).
The authors also write about how the good life is not about playing the “I’ll be happy when” game. As Robert Waldinger says:
“The good life is not always just out of reach after all. It is not waiting in the distant future after a dreamy career success. It’s not set to kick in after you acquire some massive amount of money. The good life is right in front of you, sometimes only an arm’s length away. And it starts now.”
Great book. I give it 10/10.
Great commentary Gary and I agree, this book first. Great that people have tools like these books to deal with the challenges in their lives and render them into happiness.