Have you ever had spinach in your teeth and walked around with all the confidence in the world?
This happened to me recently at the Capital One Healthcare Leadership Forum. I walked around with confidence all day, spoke to people, and shook hands. When I went to the bathroom, I realized my “spinach situation.” I didn’t know that I didn’t know!
The trouble with not knowing that you don’t know is that others will rarely tell you. There are many reasons for this: generally, people don’t want to embarrass you or themselves or just don’t care to mention you have spinach in your teeth.
This is a silly example, but it got me thinking about when you only have partial information about something. When I was younger, I could sometimes be that guy who spoke about subjects as if I knew them back to front – but there was so much I didn’t know that I didn’t know.
The Gift of Asking
Now that I am more mature, I realize that the more I learn, the less I know. My younger self would be overwhelmed with what I don’t know. Now that I’m 50 and realize how much I still have to learn. Admitting that you don’t know much about a topic and asking for information and insight is a humbling yet valuable experience.
Confucius is quoted as saying, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” Acknowledging this truth requires a great deal of humility – especially in our American culture. No one at a cocktail party wants to look like they don’t know something.
Let Curiosity Lead
If you’re willing to ask others questions, you can become a great “conversationalist” and learn a great deal simultaneously.
I’m proud of my degrees from Wofford and University of South Carolina, but I’ll readily admit that in the past, I was often intimidated by people with degrees from Ivy League schools. I felt less than others in so many ways. I realized a while back that what you have on paper doesn’t define who you are in the business world. I have successful friends without Ivy League degrees who have done incredibly well in business.
I find great comfort in another quote from Confucius: “By three methods we learn wisdom, first by reflection which is noblest, second by imitation which is easiest, and third by experience which is bitterest.”
There is a difference between IQ and wisdom. Some people are simply gifted with a God-given high IQ. I fall into the category where I have had to acquire wisdom with trial and error. I now believe that, with time, you can achieve whatever you put your mind to with focus, determination, humility, and God. And you can’t expect to gain this wisdom without a few bumps and scratches on the way.
It’s also important not to judge others for what they have and what they know; sitting in the place of judgment hampers learning, and making comparisons to others guarantees defeat.
I am also inspired by all the opportunities available to me for learning things I don’t know about. When I started writing my book, I had no clue about writing, the process, or how to tell my story. Through an incredible learning process with my writing partner Will, and with lots of false starts and rewrites, I am proud to say that my book is coming out next year.
I am excited about learning more about things I don’t know that I don’t know.
[And if you see me walking around the office with spinach in my teeth, please pull me aside and let me know.]
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